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In the Breath of a Moment, Alysa MacMillen, PsyD Program, '20

In the Breath of a Moment

“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism.” – David M. Burns

Life, in all its splendor, is complex and enormously challenging. It is a feral, unfettered, unpredictable, yet necessary force that is often less than equitable in its distribution of justice. From the day that we are born until the day that we die, we both embrace its sustenance and fight against its processes. And, in the breath of a moment that exists between our entrance into this world and our exit from it, we live. In that mere breath, we fight to survive, to overcome, to make meaningful connections with others, and to leave our mark on this world.

As we grow older, we begin to crave deeper meaning, stability, and purpose. We desperately desire to exist within the experience of pervasive happiness, perfect health, secure love, and satisfying success, but we are not always so lucky. Instead, we sometimes find ourselves suffering in seasons of agonizing sorrow, debilitating illness, unrequited love, or devastating failure or loss. Through it all, however, we learn vital lessons. We are human. We are finite. We are not in control. There are no guarantees. No one who participates in this thing called life escapes completely unscathed. Life, in all its splendor, is complex and enormously challenging…and it is why I so passionately desire to become a Clinical Psychologist capable of effecting real healing and change in people’s lives.

In my 35 years on this planet, I have learned many of these lessons the hard way. Despite the challenges I’ve faced, however, God has remained faithful. Without fail, God has continued to guide me, to heal me, and to birth in me an intense passion for His people, for psychology, and for life. So, five years ago, when I felt God leading me to go back to school to pursue a degree in psychology, I said yes. I was a 30-year-old, single, divorced mother at the time, and it was possibly the most terrifying decision I had ever made. I had no idea how I was going to pay for college, or how I was going to juggle my competing responsibilities, but I knew God was in it so I committed. Day after day, week after week, month after month, I continued to do my part and God continued to do His. During this time, I remarried and gained another child through that marriage. After completing my Associates in Science at Monroe Community College in 2014, I felt God calling me to Roberts Wesleyan College to pursue my Bachelors of Psychology, so I said yes. By that point I was completely primed and ready for the intense personal, academic, and spiritual growth that I would experience here on this campus.

The beautiful thing about Roberts is that it is not a mere ‘brick and mortar’ academic learning center. Rather, it is a living, breathing, organism that is made up of some of the most intelligent, caring, Christ-minded individuals that you could ever hope to meet. My intellectual growth may have begun five years ago at Monroe Community College, but my spiritual, personal, and professional development began over two years ago on day one of my undergraduate experience here. The psychology department faculty (particularly Dr. Grimm, Dr. Repass, Dr. Aube, and Dr. Rod Bassett) have profoundly contributed to who I am today. Every time I have started to feel overwhelmed or discouraged, or grappled with tough questions along the way, I have always found at least one of their doors wide open. They are truly never too busy to listen, to offer wisdom, or to simply extend grace. They lead and teach in humility and set the standards of expectation by example. Regardless of what is going on in their lives or how full their schedules might be, they are always available and ever-ready with words of encouragement. They are filled with integrity, loyalty, passion, and determination. They have taken the time to get to know me, to care about me, and to believe in me. They have tirelessly worked to shape me, invest in me, and support me…and they continue to do so today. When the wheels start to come off because I’m working too hard, they challenge me to find balance in my life. They have taught me to embrace the experience and to resist perfectionism. They support me as a person in all my roles (wife, mother, and student). They genuinely care about me holistically - emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and academically. My professors believe in me and in my dream, and they are committed to helping me to achieve it. They are the epitome of who I want to become as a professional and as a Christian. It is100% because of them that I decided to stay at Roberts for my graduate education.

I am currently in my first semester of our brand new Psy.D. in Clinical/School Psychology program, and I am absolutely loving it! So far, my graduate experience has been even more amazing than my undergraduate experience. In addition to the professors I have already mentioned, I have also begun building great relationships with Dr. Keri Bassett, Dr. Pulos, and Dr. Claes to name a few. I thoroughly enjoy the intellectually rich class discussions, the challenging work load, and the amazing opportunities I have been given for hands on experience. I am constantly challenged to simultaneously question my thinking, be aware of my biases, and trust my gut in my efforts to cultivate my budding clinical judgment. There is so much room to explore, attempt, make mistakes, learn from them, and try again without judgment. I’m so blessed to be able to learn from and be molded by the very best in the field.

So much of life happens in a breath of a moment…I’m so grateful that, today, for me, it’s all happening here at Roberts Wesleyan College.