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November 11, 2015

What Is An Internship Experience Like, by Tim Young, RWC Undergraduate Psychology Major, May '16

            If I were to pose the question, “what is an internship experience like?”, most people recall scenes or instances of introductory work to the field of their choice. Often these internships involve professional instruction about paperwork, organizing files, and other everyday procedures. Very rarely would one respond to the question by conjuring up images of aggression, verbal abuse, and profanity, but those were just some of the day to day encounters I was met with at the Hillside Children’s Center’s Residential Treatment Facility Andrews-Trahey School, and I could not have asked for a better experience. Throughout my internship I worked with emotionally charged and at times aggressive youths, acts of defiance, and countless arguments laced with language even most sailors would find harsh. While on paper this sounds like a glimpse of a “walk through the valley of the shadow”, my internship experience has benefitted me in more ways than I could have imagined and I enjoyed it more than I ever dreamed possible.

            Though I was rather nervous and even timid at the start, my time at the Andrews-Trahey School of Hillside Children’s Center has provided me with confidence, assurance, and perhaps most important, a change in perspective. Given it’s value, it should come as no surprise that the internship was a challenge, as most good things are. If it were not for the help and guidance I received from both the community and classes at Roberts Wesleyan College, the success I had would have never came to fruition.

            To say I was a bit apprehensive about finding and establishing an internship would be a massive understatement. I was a nervous wreck, even just to find a site let alone spend 90 hours there. Ever since the first month I came to Roberts when I found out about the internship requirement I began freaking out about it. I was petrified for when that time finally came. I would imagine all sorts of scenarios with the worst possible outcome. Though I had gone through a decent amount of schooling for this opportunity, I did not think or see how I could be of much help or even of much use. The whole thing seemed so official and like such a big step that I just was not ready for.

            In the months leading up to the start of my internship I was taking the internship prep course here at Roberts. The class as a whole really helped me out a great deal and showed me the potential positives of participating in an internship and getting a job. However, the problem still remained of finding a site and establishing a placement. Throughout the internship prep class there were seemingly a thousand papers and forms that needed to be signed in a very short amount of time. In reality there were probably only four or five forms, but in my mental state at that time those 4 forms looked something out of a Goosebumps novel. Small panic attacks and mental distress began to become more and more frequent. I had called countless sites and could not seem to get anything going. It felt like the whole thing was useless and that I would never find a placement, complete my 90 hours and graduate. As the process continued and I was struggling to stay afloat in a sea of self-doubt and nervousness, I discovered that the real world is not 1/100th as scary as my imagination could make it and in the midst of that treacherous sea, God sent me a couple life floats.

            Due to my time-table of classes, work, and when I planned to graduate, I really wanted to complete my internship over summer. The only problem with that was time. I was running out of time in the semester (Spring 2015) and running especially late in having my forms signed and submitted. In the midst of all this craziness I decided that I needed some help. I contacted Professor Prouty explaining to her my difficulties and worries. Thankfully she agreed to meet with me and provided me with a couple of options and ideas on where to look and who to contact. Even this quick meeting helped relieve some of my stress. I eventually decided on Hillside Children’s Center because that is where my mother was currently employed and seemed like the place that I could establish the internship program the quickest. The only problem with this site is that it is unanimously known as being one of the most difficult schools in the Rochester area. Nonetheless I was on my way. I got the first few forms signed and met with Professor Prouty again who reassured me of the whole experience. She agreed with me that the whole process can be a bit scary but she also reminded me, “it is very exciting too”. Perhaps most comforting was that fact that she told me that the people at Hillside would not put me in over my head. After that meeting, weeks passed and the semester ended. My internship was supposed to start in the first week of July, but I still had forms that needed to be turned in and the semester was over! I became increasingly worried that all of my work had just gone to waste and I would have to start all over again. Fortunately, Roberts Wesleyan was very patient with me and I am still very thankful for that. I emailed Dr. Grimm about my situation with the remaining forms and she called me the very next day, in the summer time mind you. Dr. Grimm told me that Roberts would work with me and that the forms could still be accepted. Just knowing that all hope was not lost took away mountains of my stress and anxiety. I knew I would at least be established for a summer internship, the only remaining challenge was getting right into it.

            From the very first day at the Andrews-Trahey School of Hillside Children’s Center I was struck by what I saw and immediately understood that this experience would be like nothing I had ever encountered and would teach me a lot both about psychology and the real world. More than anything my time at Hillside was very eye-opening. Most of my duties involved observing and assisting the students. These two duties can be fairly difficult given Hillside Children’s Center’s demographic. Nearly all of the student’s at the school were emotionally and behaviorally challenged. High, delicate tempers and outbursts of anger were an everyday, nearly every class period, occurrence. The students would often curse at the teachers and it was normal. Hardly anybody in the classroom batted an eye at it. When students got frustrated, they frequently threw their work down, slammed the desk, and left the classroom, all while verbally abusing the staff and students around them. There was a lingering feeling of high intensity at times that almost led to fist fights on multiple occasions. Luckily the staff at Hillside is well trained in these instances and knows when they are escalating and how to defuse them. Getting the children to cooperate or do any kind of work was a challenge. Initially it was hard for me to understand why the students could not just sit and do their work. This all changed however, when I came to understand the background of where they came from. It was this knowledge that affected me the most and provided me with a huge change in perspective.

            Once I had viewed some of the background files of the students I was working with, my view of the world was impacted very heavily. It was as if the world as I knew it had a “warm” filter over it and seeing where these kids came from gently lifted that filter and gave me a look at the “real” world. I do not mean to sound cynical or as if the world is a cold place. What I am trying to say is that my view of the world was merely changed to include things and people I had never thought about before. Having been fortunate to grow up in good schools and been fortunate enough to go to college, I have been surrounded by people who come from loving environments. Nearly everyone I know has food to eat, a roof over their heads, and parents and relatives who love them. Never before had I fully felt the reality of those not as fortunate. I had known cognitively that they existed, that there were people who struggled with domestic abuse, serious drug problems, and parental neglect, but I never knew it emotionally. I had never seen firsthand the effects and trauma those types of environments and misfortunes can cause.

            Upon seeing what sorts of problems these students were dealing with and what kind of background they emerged from, I was filled with empathy and compassion. I had a sudden insight or realization that their troubles, their emotional issues are not their fault. The students did not consciously decide to be angry, or defiant, or depressed. Their difficulties are a product of where they came from and what they survived. In a sense, those emotional or behavioral difficulties are their battle scars. Nobody can go into battle or war and escape with no damage, be it physical, psychological, or emotional. Any person, anyone, from the most eloquent scholar to a coal mine worker, would be damaged by what those kids went though. It is no wonder why these students are where they are and have the troubles they do. In realizing all of this my fears and anxiety about working with this population was immediately turned into a desire and excitement in helping. Not only that, but it allowed me to be more patient with them as well. I grew to deeply care for the students and every moment of levity or positivity took on a whole new level of importance.

            The experience I gained at my internship with Hillside was incredibly rewarding and beneficial. Before my 90 hours, I was an anxious wreck when thinking about the future. Now, I am much more confident and even a bit excited for what lies ahead. The future does not seem like a daunting, inescapable black hole that will swallow me into nothing. Instead, the future is a whole new adventure to be taken with joy and gratefulness. Being a college student we have an extraordinary opportunity to learn unique skills and knowledge and combine that with our God given gifts to make an impact in people’s lives in a way that no one else can. Thanks to my time at the Andrews-Trahey School I cam now eager for my next steps, whatever they may be. I am no longer fearful of working with people with problem behaviors, but am driven to help make their lives better in any way I can.

            Now that my experience has concluded and I am able to reflect on it as a whole, I have begun to think about what I would tell the next generation of RWC interns. My first piece of advice would be to relax and breathe. The whole process is not as scary as it seems or as we make it out to be. If an anxious, nervous nelly like myself managed to make it through in one piece, any one can. Take the journey in small steps, not as one colossal challenge. Things may not go exactly as planned, but that is perfectly okay. You are surrounded by a good support system both personally, and at Roberts and you will have help along the way. Any deviation in your plan is simply the next part of God’s plan. My second piece of advice would be to trust your skills and knowledge. As college students we are rather bright individuals and have been well trained in classrooms for years, to the point where a lot of the important information is likely engrained in our memory. Just give your best with a good attitude and things will work out. Lastly, I would advise future interns to embrace the experience and find some enjoyment out of it. Any internship is a whole new experienced and one to be appreciated. It does not have to be “work" and you may find that you really enjoy yourself. There are innumerable lessons to be learned and that is exactly why you are there, to learn.

            In life we often find that our greatest fears and challenges turn out to be some of the most rewarding and beneficial times of our lives. It is like seeing the shadow of a beast in an alleyway, only to round the corner and find out that scary thing waiting for us was actually a small puppy. The best and only way of learning some of these lessons is through living them out. My internship experience at Hillside Children’s Center allowed me the opportunity to discover this for myself. What started out as an anxiety filled and fear driven requirement, turned out to be an enlightening and rewarding experience that has both encouraged and inspired me. There were no doubt challenges encountered and adjustments made, but those were all part of the plan to begin with. With the help I received from people at Roberts Wesleyan and Hillside alike, that anxiety turned to confidence and fear into enthusiasm. It is no doubt scary, going out and entering the “real world”and that is understandable. An 8 hour work day with a boss is much less comfortable than a 1 hour lecture at 2 in the afternoon. However, the amount of good to be gained is ineffable. Things may go askew and the boat may rock some. You may find that a certain job may not be the best fit for you, in which case you have a new, clearer direction in your life. On the other hand, your internship experience may also show you that through all of the stress and hard work, you are exactly where you are meant to be.